DONT GIVE UP ON US BABY

Don't give up on us, baby
Don't make the wrong seem right
The future isn't just one night
It's written in the moonlight
And painted on the stars
We can't change ours


Don't give up on us, baby
We're still worth one more try
I know we put our last one by
Just for a rainy evening


When maybe stars are few
Don't give up on us, I know we can still come through



I really lost my head last night
You've got a right to stop believing
There's still a little love left, even so


Don't give up on us, baby
Lord knows we've come this far
Can't we stay the way we are?
The angel and the dreamer
Who sometimes plays a fool
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

It's written in the moonlight
And painted on the stars
We can't change ours


Don't give up on us, baby
We're still worth one more try
I know we put our last one by
Just for a rainy evening
When maybe stars are few
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

Don't give up on us, baby
Don't give up on us, baby

dream

Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam,
dream, dream, dream
When I want you in my arms
When I want you
and all your charms
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam,
dream, dream, dream

When I feel blue in the night
And I need
you to hold me tight
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam

I
can make you mine, taste your lips of wine
Anytime night or day
Only
trouble is, gee whiz
I’m dreamin’ my life away

I need you so
that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want
you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam

I
can make you mine, taste your lips of wine
Anytime night or day
Only
trouble is, gee whiz
I’m dreamin’ my life away

I need you so
that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want
you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam,
dream, dream, dream

Sirslilones ray of sunshine!

 FINALY THE SUN IS OUT,NO MORE DULNESS AND DARKNESS,YES PPL…..LIL ONE IS HAPPY ONCE MORE.IN FACT IM SITTING AT PC BLOGGING,IM SINGING AND SMILING!

 

I REALY DONT COPE WELL IN THE WINTER,HELL ID HATE TO PUT UP WITH ME WHEN IM IN THAT FRAME OF MIND.

 

WHICH IS WHY IT’S MADE ME LOOK AT MY FUTURE AS A SUBMISSIVE……THINK I’LL JUST BE A SUMMER SUBMISSIVE ANGEL,AND HIBERNATE IN WINTER,IT’S NOT FAIR TO PUT ANYONE WHAT IV PUT SIR THROUGH.

 

GOSH I DOUBT IF SIR WOULD EVEN RECOGNISE ME………..NEED TO GET A FEW PICS AND PUT THEM UP,THE HAIR IS NOW SHORT,SASSY AND VERY SEXY,MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A NEW WOMAN,AND JUST TO SHOW PEOPLE MY CONFIDENCE IS BACK WITH A BANG….THE HAIR IS THE NEW BRIGHTEST COLOUR OF REAL RED I HAVE SEEN FOR A WHILE.

 

I DID TXT SIR AND ASK FOR A TIME TO TALK SO WE MAY PART ON MORE SOCIABLE TERMS,NOT SURE HE STILL HAS SAME NUMBER,AS I GOT NO ANSWER,BUT I REALY WASNT EXPECTING ONE….AND I PROMISED I WOULDNT TEXT AGAIN…….SO FOR THE MOMENT IM JUST ENJOYING THE AIR OF MYSTERY TO THE WHOLE SITUATION.

 

NOT SURE WHATS HAPPENING AT WORK,I HAD ANOTHER MEETING WITH THEM AND MADE IT CLEAR I HAD A VERY GOOD CASE FOR UNFAIR DISMISSAL,IM AWAITING A LETTER BEFORE I KNOW WHAT MY NEXT STEP IS.

 

IM A BIT PISSED DEREKS COURT CASE IS NEXT BEING HEARD AT GLASGOW HIGH COURT(SORRY SIR,HOPE THIS DOSNT EMBARESS YOU)

 

I SHOULD BE BACK ON ANTIABUSE IN NEXT 2 WEEK…..ALTHOUGH IM SO PROUD TO SAY,IM NOT DRINKING,IM COPING WELL,AND ANTIABUSE IS FOR ADDED BACK UP…….I FEEL I CAME OF IT TOO EARLY LAST TIME,BUT HEY I CANT TAKE BACK THE MISTAKES I MADE,IV OPPOLOGISED OVER AND OVER AGAIN….SO THERE IS NOTHING MORE I CAN DO.

 

I BADLY NEED TO PUT WEIGHT ON THOUGH NOT HAPPY WITH MY FIGURE TO SCRAWNY LOOKING…HELL WHEN YOU HAVE TO START BUYING A UK WOMANS SIZE 6…..ITS TIME TO WISEN UP AND START TO TAKE A BETTER CARE OF YOUR WELL BEING AND HEALTH.

 

LOL I GOT A MESSAGE YESTERDAY FROM A MAN WHO ASKED"DO YOU TRAVEL NORTH OF THE BORDER….I WANT TO BREED YOU"

 

HOI MATE IM A SUBMISSIVE,NOT A HORSE OR A DOG…..YOU CANT BREED A SUBMISSIVE,EVERY SUB IS UNIQUE IN HER OWN SPECIAL WAY,NO TWO ARE ALIKE,THATS WHAT MAKES US SO SPECIAL.

 

SO NO YOU CANT BREED ME,IT WOULDNT BE PYHSICALY POSSIBLE ANYWAY,IV SPENT ENOUGH YEARS RAISING KIDS….THIS IS MY TIME OF LIFE.

 

THERE IS ALSO THE FACT THAT I HAD BEEN SAVING MYSELF FOR SIR…….OHH FOR OVER A YEAR NOW,NO SEX AT ALL.

 

AND I CAN TELL YOU I DONT JUST PLAN TO JUMP IN THE SACK WITH THE FIRST MAN WHO OFFERS…..MY SIR WAS A ONE OFF A KIND,AND IT WOULD TAKE A VERY VERY VERY SPECIAL PERSON TO FIT IN HIS SHOES.

THAT IS WHAT IS CALLED TRUE RESPECT,FOR A WOMAN TO DENY HER SEXUAL URGES,GETTING PLEASURE FROM THE FACT SHE KNEW HOW MUCH SHE WAS PLEASING HER DOM.

 

I HAVE TO SAY THOUGH IT HAS CHANGED THE WAY I LOOK AT MYSELF AND TO SHARE MY BODY IN THAT WAY WOULD HAVE TO BE EARNED,I WOULD NEVER BE WITH ANYONE WHO DIDNT FULLY RESPECT ME…..I VALUE MYSELF AS A PERSON FAR TO MUCH NOW TO MAKE THAT MISTAKE.

 

 

WELL THATS ABOUT ALL I HAVE TO SAY FOR TODAY,DIARY………..BUT I WILL BE BACK SOON TO PUT ANOTHER ENTERY IN,FUCK IT FEELS GREAT TO BE BACK TO NORMAL….LONG MAY IT LAST THIS TIME…..I REALY DONT WANT TO EVER SELF DESTRUCT LIKE THAT AGAIN.

 

IV MADE SOME STUPID MISTAKES IN MY PAST…..BUT LOOSING SIR’S TRUST AND RESPECT IS BY FAR THE MOST EYE OPENING,AND STUPID……I HAD THE LIFE I HAD ALWAYS WANTED,AND LIKE A TORNADO I NOT ONLY BLEW IT ALL TO FUCK….I RIPPED THE HEART RIGHT OUT OF IT.

 

 

 

 

THATS WHY IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO BITE ME ON THE ASS!

 

Lil ones…….submissive fantasy.

I SIT HERE AND WEEP ONLY EMPTINESS AND PAIN ARE ALL I FEEL INSIDE
KNOWING TO YOU I WAS SIMPLY YOUR FREIND,YOU NEVER SAW MY SUB, SIDE

I WAS NEVER UNDER YOUR GUIDANCE,I HAD IMAGINED IT ALL, THERE WAS NO TRAINING
A DELUDED FANASY,KNOWING,TO YOU CAUSING YOU EMBARESSMENT WAS ALL I WAS GAINING.
 
WHEN I ASKED HOW SHOULD I ADDRESS YOU…….YOU NEVER SAID YOU MAY CALL ME SIR?
THAT YOU WERE NEVER A TRUE DOMINANT,IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD,A CRAZY DESIRE?

THERE NEVER WAS ANY,TRAINING OR PLAYTIME SESSIONS,NO AFTERNOONS OF FUN?
IN SHORT YOU WERE ONLY EVER"ALEX" MY FREIND, YOU NEVER WERE MY DOMINANT ONE?

NO YOUR ROLE AS YOU EXPLAINED WAS TO TEACH ME WHAT TO EXPECT FROM MYSELF AND OTHERS
GIVING UP YOUR TIME,SHOWING ME CONCIDERATION,"I COULD READ THAT QUOTE FOR HOURS"
 
THERE NEVER WAS A SAFE WORD,GIVEN BY YOU TO ME,(NOT THE KIND OF THING YOU GIVE A FREIND)
NO VISITS TO YOUR HOME,NO REQUESTS,OR COLLAR ROUND MY NECK,AS DOMESTIC DUTIES ID ATTEND?

SIMPLY SOMEONE WHO SHOWED ME WHAT TO EXPECT FROM MYSELF AND ALL OTHERS I ENCOUNTER IN LIFE
THEN AFTER ALL YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM,TREAT ME THIS WAY,HAVE YOU TWISTED IT ENOUGH(THAT KNIFE?)

THE ONE YOU STABBED ME IN THE HEART WITH,WHEN YOU SUDDENLY REGARDED MY CONTACT AS STALKING?}
OH NO, SORRY WAIT I FORGOT I WAS NEVER YOUR SUB,JUST A FREIND,IT’S AN IMAGINARY PATH I WAS WALKING
 
NO SIR IN MY LIFE,NEVER WAS…HE DIDNT EXIST,I WAS BORED SO I MADE THE WHOLE STORY UP IN MY HEAD
NO AFTERNOON TO REMEMBER,THAT EVER DESERVED MY TIME,OR WORDS IN POEM"ON THE SOFT WHITE BED"

YES,YOU CERTAINLEY MADE IT PLAIN IN LAST MESSAGE WHATEVER IT WAS YOU GAVE ME WAS FROM PITY
SHOWING CARE TO SOMEONE YOU FELT WAS DEALT A CRAP HAND IN LIFE, WAS THE REASON YOU GAVE FROM ACCEPTING TO TRAIN ME.

EVERY BLOG AND ALL MY POEMS WORDED FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
NOT KNOWING MY FUTURE AS YOUR SUB,WOULD END BEFORE IT COULD START.

HONEST AND TRUTH WILL  ALWAYS CONTINUE TO BE THE MAIN GIFTS I OFFER
SO IS MY STORY A FANTASY OR REAL? LURVE FROM LIL ONE THE AUTHOR.x

 
I trusted you Sir…………….why did you have to hurt me?

A NEW DAY DAWNING.

 OK THERE IS A LOT GOING ON IN MY LIFE AND I HAVE 2 CHOICES,CONTINUE TO HIDE AND HOPE IT ALL GOES AWAY……..OR GET OFF MY LAZY ASS AND START TO SORT IT ALL OUT.

 

IN MY LAST BLOG I ASKED SIR WHAT DO I BUILD ON FROM HERE,AND LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM THERE WAS SIR STANDING IN FRONT OF ME NOT LECTURING OR ORDERING ME……JUST TELLING ME:::"BELEIVE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN ABILITIES,HAVE CONFIDENCE IN THE DISISIONS YOU MAKE,YOU ARE ALOT STRONGER THAN YOU EVER GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR LIL ONE,LEARN TO HAVE AS MUCH CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF AS I HAVE IN YOU…….AND YOU WILL PLEASE ME VERY MUCH"

 

NEEDLESS TO SAY I AWOKE WITH A WHOLE NEW ATTITUDE THIS MORNING AND I HAVE ALOT  OF GROUND TO COVER TODAY,TO SORT OUT MY MESS OFF A LIFE,I USED TO LOOK AT EVERY PROBLEM AS A CHALLENGE AND SOMEWHERE DOWN THE LINE I JUST STOPPED DOING THAT.

 

I MAY STILL END UP EVICTTED I KNOW THAT BUT INSTEAD OF A HARDSHIP I SHOULD LOOK AT IT AS A NEW ADVENTURE,A FRESH START.

 

I GUESS ITS TIME TO PUT THE GIFTS YOU GAVE ME INTO ACTION,IV LET US BOTH DOWN ENOUGH

PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND WISH ME LUCK SIR……….HUGS AND BEST WISHES LIL ONE.X

I GUESS THIS MY FINAL GOODBYE.

 

 

 

YOU ONCE TOLD ME MY PAGE WAS INSPIRING BECAUSE I ALWAYS TOLD THE TRUTH NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT AND TO KEEP WRITING AND WE COULD KEEP BUILDING ON MY PAGE.

 

HERE IS MY HONESTY I KNOW YOU ARE NOT LIKE THE OTHERS,I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE FACING A HARD TIME IN LIFE,BUT PLEASE SIR AS I FINISH PACKING UP MY LIFE NOT KNOWING WHERE IT WILL LEAD ME,WHAT DO I WRITE TO BUILD ON THIS?

 

LOVING YOU AS ALWAYS…………LIL ONE.X

THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR YOU ALEX….FROM MY HEART(i hope you read it)

 I truly hope you get to read this,although i dont even know what colour im writing it in,its like rest of my life falling apart,iv lost some of my drivers and so from where im sitting is all in black and white.

 

Firstly id like to address the question of my behaviour,and be totaly honest with you,i was still drinking……….in other words i was lying to you,i cant beleive im admitting this but i cant lie any longer,you deserve better.

 

My drinking is something i have found no one can have control over apart from me,i truly do love you,and have the highest of respect for you…..but an alcahol dependant person will never stop untill,they feel they are ready to walk down the path that lays ahead.Its ok for others to say its a choice,its not,it wasnt even an addicttion to me just an escape from my life in general,i got so sick of always being knocked back on my ass when id achived so much,i started to think i just generated bad luck my fate was set out for me and that was that.

 

Then i met you and everything was so different,we hadnt met in person,i fell for you,in love with you before we met,why?………you 

were a breath of fresh air,you gave me nothing but the truth from the start ,and i admired you so much for that.Which is why i find it so hard to deal with now you went so callus and cold on me.

 

I went back to step 1 on friday,i sat infront of a stranger and admitted i am addicted to drink,i even sighned paperwork accepting help,my next step inbetween,is to go on tuesday for a liver test and a test on my heart before i can again go on anti abuse,this i didnt do for you but for me,im sick of who i am,living the way i do.

 

You see Sir nomatter who you are or how hard you try,there is one thing you cant fix,no amount of submitting can wipe away the memory of my 6 year old son standing on my steps with that look on his inocent face wondering what just happened,or the fight that ensued as i tried to fight his dad to leave my house,or stop me asking myself did i realy know what had happened and just ignore it.

 

he was my son why didnt i see the sighns,why didnt i know?

 

The night it happened,stuart was a child just over a year old and shared the same room,have you any idea what thoughts go round my brain,how do i know it didnt happen to him but he just cant remember?

 

If everything you taught me,and the way you treated me is the way you treat all trainee subs,you need to know the damage you can cause,when someone who is unused to being cuddled or cared for,and you notice so much you mention it,dont you think you had a duty to mention then,That you as Dom get satisfaction from just picking someone up,changing there life and waching them use the gifts you gave them to become a better person?

 

You gave me so much,then you left without a Goodbye,where is the respect in that? Dont you dare treat me this way,why cant you pick up a fone and be honest about how you feel,i was……….i even pointed out why i came to the conclusion you loved me to,and you didnt correct me just blocked me altogether.

 

HERE IS MY HONESTY,AT LEAST RETURN IT BEFORE I HAVE TO FACE WHAT IS APPROACHING ME IN THE NEXT WEEK.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you’ve done
Forgive all your mistakes
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won’t be there

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won’t admit
Sometimes I just want to hide ’cause it’s you I miss
You know it’s so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I’ve missed you since you’ve been away

Oh, it’s dangerous
It’s so out of line to try to turn back time

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself

By hurting you

 

of silence.
Hello darkness, my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisper’d in the sounds "

 

 

This may seem like a realy strange blog Sir but the thoughts running round my head are strange,if i stay i remind myself daily of what Davy Swan done,how he totaly fucked up my brain,how mark leith took abuse of my submission got me to cut for him to bausque in the glory of my pain.

 

If i go i leave behind the home my security,where stuart took his first steps,derek broke his heart over loosing his first girlfreind,and the place where i first,met you,the only person in my life to ever trust me enough to RESPECT ME.

 

You hear me so clearly
And see how I try
You feel me, so heal me
And tear me apart

And I won’t tell a soul
I won’t tell at all
And do they have to know
About my goodnight girl

Caught up in your wishin’ well
You hopes inside it
Take your love ‘n’ promises
And make them last(you make them last)

You keep me so near you
And see me so far
And hold me and send me
And deep in your heart

And I won’t tell a soul
I won’t tell at all
And i won’t let them know
About my goodnight girl

Caught up in your wishin’ well
You hopes inside it
Take your love ‘n’ promises
And make them last ( you make them last )

Caught up in your wishin’ well
You hopes inside it
Take your love ‘n’ promises
And make them last ( you make them last )

It doesn’t matter how sad
I made you
Doesn’t matter how hard
I try

Just remember the same
Old reason
Reflected in your eyes
You said you wanted me

Caught up in your wishin’ well
Your hopes inside it
Take your love ‘n’ promises
And make them last (you make them last)

Caught up in your wishin’ well
Your hopes inside it
Take your love ‘n’ promises

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE A CORRECT PROCEDURE FOLLOWED BEFORE YOUR CONTRACTED CAN BE TERMINATED.

The various offences that might cause disciplinary and dismissal procedures to be instigated by a business against an employee are grouped together under the term ‘misconduct’. There’s no finite definition of misconduct and a lot depends on the nature of the employer and its culture as to what constitutes misconduct. Generally it is either about the way an employee conducts themselves or their ability to do their job and includes:

    * Persistent poor time-keeping and absenteeism
    * Dishonesty
    * Rudeness to colleagues and/or customers
    * Poor discipline
    * Inability to keep up with work
    * Long-term absence or sickness

In these cases a full disciplinary procedure must be followed before dismissal, although the aim of the procedure must be to reverse the problem and get an employee back on the job, with dismissal a last resort at the end. The procedure will usually entail a series of verbal and written warnings from the employer, more details of which can be found in our Disciplinary Procedures article in the Working Conditions section.

ustifiable Dismissal
In every employee’s contract, or a separate document referred to by the contract such as a staff handbook or set of terms and conditions, there will be a list of offences that will result in instant dismissal. These are termed ‘gross misconduct’ and are usually fairly obvious, such as:

    * Stealing, embezzling, or sabotage against the employer
    * Criminal acts not aimed at the employer but performed on their premises
    * Violence toward another employee or general violent conduct at the business
    * Drug or alcohol related incidents
    * Indecent behaviour
    * Serious health and safety breaches at the business

Most well-written company procedures will make it clear that the list is not exhaustive and that other acts not can also be deemed gross misconduct and cause for dismissal.

There may be more entries on the list of gross misconduct offences depending on the nature of the business. For example, in an increasing number of businesses, financial institutions in particular, some IT-related incidents such as divulging a password or installing software on a PC count as gross misconduct. This is spreading to other industries as the risk of computer crime and virus damage increases.

Committing a gross misconduct offence does not mean that the dismissal is ‘instant’ in the sense of being frog-marched immediately out of the building. Even in these cases a procedure must be followed, which normally includes the employer investigating the offence to make sure that it did actually occur and that the right person has been identified. Employees may be suspended while this takes place and, as part of their workers’ rights, must be given a chance to defend themselves, with an accompanying staff member or union representative.

What Unfair Dismissal Means
The problem with fair and unfair dismissal is that the employer and employee often disagree as to whether a dismissal is fair or unfair. The only way of sorting this out is for the dismissed worker to take the company to an Employment Tribunal, who will investigate and decide the matter.

A tribunal will consider whether or not the offence counted as gross misconduct, were employees made aware of the seriousness of the offence, for example, and look at the company’s disciplinary procedures to see if they were up to standard and he been properly implemented. Although they will not look at the issue of guilt or innocence of the employee, they would assess the employer’s investigation that took place and determine whether or not it was conducted properly, and in an unbiased manner. They would also assess whether dismissal was the right thing for the business to do, rather than an alternative solution and might look at past similar cases for precedents that have been set.

Get Advice Before Committing About Dismissal
People who feel they should go claim unfair dismissal absolutely must get independent advice before progressing. Union members can call on the union for support and advice, and if they believe the unfair dismissal claim to be a valid one, will provide free legal support before and at the tribunal hearing. Those who aren’t can call on the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) or ACAS, the Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service, both of which can be easily found through a phone book, local library or the internet.

Disciplinary procedures refer to the processes that are followed when a business investigates a problem with an employee and the other side of that, if an employee has a problem with their employer, is referred to as a grievance procedure. In both cases there are statutory minimum guidelines laid down by the government regarding workers’ rights, but a company’s procedure, as long as it follows those minimum guidelines, can add steps into the processes if they wish, and many do.

What To Do Before Grievance And Disciplinary Procedures Begin
In both cases, disciplinary and grievance procedures, it’s wise to try and deal with the problem informally first. No one enjoys going through these processes and if a problem can be sorted out by some communication between the people involved, then so much the better. It doesn’t make sense for an employer to throw the book at an employee because of, for example, lateness, without having a quiet word first to see if they can start getting in earlier.

It is also necessary to follow the procedures to the letter. If the situation is not resolved and has to go to an employment tribunal or other court, then it will not look good to the court if disciplinary or grievance procedures weren’t followed by the business. This is because the procedures are seen as ways of resolving situations and courts will expect businesses and employers to use all means possible to resolve a dispute before resorting to legal action. In an extreme case, it could be construed as a waste of the court’s time.

What Are Disciplinary Procedures?
Regulations came into force in 2004 to make it compulsory for all businesses in the UK, regardless of size, to have a formally laid down procedure for resolving workplace disputes regarding staff. The procedure should, as a minimum, cover issuing employees written statements about the grounds for disciplinary action, followed by a meeting to discuss it.

As part of their workers’ rights, employees are allowed to be accompanied by another employee or a union representative at this meeting and any other meetings necessary throughout the process. There are time deadlines imposed for each. Employees are allowed to appeal against any decisions taken by employers after the meeting or meetings and if they are not satisfied after that appeal they may take to case to an employment tribunal.

In fact, many businesses have procedures that are more complex than those described above, this is just the minimum permitted by law. Employers must produce disciplinary procedure documentation and make it available to them. Note that this only applies to employees. There is now a distinction between workers and employees with regard to workplace legislation.

What Happens With Grievance Procedures?
In essence grievance procedures are similar to disciplinary procedures. The legal minimum is a three-step procedure; a written statement, a meeting, and an appeal meeting, if necessary. The written statement should be produced by the employee who has the grievance and handed to the person indicated in the procedure. If past written statements have not been acted upon (there are time limits for this) or the person that the employee has the problem with is the person who should accept the statement, then it should be passed to a human resources manager, and failing that, the owner of the business.

As with disciplinary meetings, as part of his worker’s rights, an employee is allowed to be accompanied, either by another member of staff, or a union representative if they are a union member, and can take whatever notes they want. The purpose of the meeting is to firstly establish exactly what has happened and, hopefully, get agreement on those facts. Then the employee should detail what it has meant to them and why they have a grievance about the situation. Finally, and again hopefully, an agreement will be arrived at as to how the problem can be resolved.

If the employee is not happy about the outcome of the meeting they have a right of appeal. At the appeal, which would follow much the same format of the previous meeting, the employee can outline their reasons for disagreeing with the decisions taken by the employer at the first meeting.

What Can You Do If the Dispute is Left Unresolved?
With both disciplinary and grievance procedures if an agreement still can’t be reached after the appeal process, then the next step will have to be taking the dispute to mediation, conciliation, arbitration or an employment tribunal. See our article on the subject in our ‘Losing Your Job’ section for more details and seek advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) or the Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (ACAS), details of which can be found online or in telephon
e

AND IF LIKE ME YOU HAVE FOUND YOURSELF IN THIS POSITION…….FIGHT I T ALL THE WAY,I GOT A LETTER TERMINATING,MY CONTRACT ON WED,FONED THEM YHURSDAY TO INFORM OF WHAT ACTION ID DECIDED TO TAKE,AND HEY PRESTO A MEETING HAS BEEN SET UP ,NEXT WEEK.

I REALY LOVE MY JOB AND IM SICK…….OF ALWAYS BEING A VICTIM IN LIFE…….SO THIS TIME IM STANDING UP FOR MYSELF, IM SICK OF BULLIES.

THE CORRECT PROCEDURE FOR WHISTLE BLOWING.

There are many rights of workers that are protected by law in the United Kingdom but as there are no ‘work police’ how are those laws enforced? There are two ways; either a victim takes legal action against the company, or a witness to the action ‘blows the whistle’ to alert people, either inside the company or outside, that an offence has been committed. Hence the term ‘whistleblower’, believed to come from the whistles that British policemen used to warn the public and summon help, used to describe a person who speaks up.

Protection by Law
Whistleblowers are protected by the Public Interest Act of 1998, which applies as long as they are disclosing an offence, or a cover up, of a criminal offence, environmental damage or health and safety violation. There are caveats, one of them being that if you have signed the Official Secrets Act then you are unlikely to be covered. Note, however, that breach of confidence clauses in an employment contract will be ineffective as long as a whistleblower is truly disclosing confidential information in good faith.

In order to be protected by the law the disclosure of information has to follow a certain procedure. If you decide to tell people within the organisation, it’s important to follow any procedure they have laid down to allow people to pass on sensitive information in a protected manner. It’s also important to take the complaint to the correct person, so, for example, if it is a health and safety breach, the complaint must be made to whoever has responsibility for health and safety in the firm.


Open Disclosure
If the whistleblower feels that disclosing their information through a prescribed agency or at work would result in detrimental treatment toward them then they can make a general disclosure (i.e. to the press) but only if they are acting in good faith, not for personal gain, and the disclosures are true. It’s important to get this right, but it’s also useful to know that informing a legal advisor while getting advice on the subject will not jeopardise the protection afforded by the law.

Those people working in a Government appointed body can also gain protection by making their complaint to a minister. It is worth taking legal advice before going down this road because although the protection of the law is there, there is a high risk, depending on the nature of the compliant, that the whistleblower may become a target.

Employees Only
If a whistleblower is sacked or otherwise victimised after breaking cover then they can sue for unfair dismissal, but this only applies to employees or workers with fixed-term contracts, not agency workers or casual workers. If there is any uncertainty about this position or any other aspect of whistleblowing, then as well as ACAS the Citizens Advice Bureau or a relevant trade union can help too.

HARRASEMENT AT WORK AT PROPER PROCEDURE.

Bullying and Harassment at Work

This increasing phenomenon is causing huge problems for employers and managers in the UK labour market. Many managers seem to lack some of the necessary skills to prevent situations from arising or to deal with them effectively when they do.

The effect of bullying and harassment for the employer can be immense; excessive time spent with disgruntled employees, loss of production, periods of long-term stress related sick leave, bad atmosphere in the workplace, possible legal costs, Employment Tribunal imposed compensation or potentially excessive and embarrassing pay-offs.

The cost to the victim can be catastrophic and not something that can be quantified in financial terms; serious impact on self-esteem and confidence resulting in damage to relationships at work and beyond. Periods of stress or anxiety based sick leave follow and most often it concludes with loss of employment. There have been situations of bullying which have resulted long-term mental health difficulties and depression with several circumstances resulting in suicide.

Bullying is a common occurrence at work and is perpetrated by managers and employers, between colleagues and even across competing teams. It can be overt, done in a joking manner or be subtle and invisible. The table below describes some bullying styles. However it is delivered, there is always a victim, who may or may not be seen as such by colleagues or managers. Sometimes, in order to deal with the situation and potential embarrassment, the victim may also be seen to go along with the jokes at their own expense.

Although for the most part, the perpetrator is seen as the oppressor, although they may be in this position as a result of being  victims of bullying themselves. Some companies are founded with a culture of bullying management throughout. Managers may have been promoted to a level where they are out of their depth and resort to oppressive management styles in order to assert authority. In many cases the bully may also need support as does the victim.

Early intervention is most likely to result in successful outcomes.
quality Edge Response to Bullying

Once bullying at work has been identified, which may occur after a grievance has been made, specialist coaching is offered as part of a disciplinary or support process.  Coaching is commissioned to help the person understand more about their role in a grievance claim against them and about accusations of workplace bullying. The process helps them to see the situation from the perspective of the other party which enables the coach to work with them towards positive conclusions.

Outcomes of disciplinary coaching have resulted in people being successful reintegrated back into teams and organisations. In all cases, the change in behaviour has had positive results, improved team working and raised productivity levels. During the spring of 2010, Equality Edge is conducting research into the long-term effects of Working with Difference coaching.

Successful conclusions to disciplinary coaching have avoided the loss of valued members of staff and possibly prevented team dysfunction, months of low productivity, huge time commitments of manager and HR officers, unwanted recruitments cost and maybe even legal expenses with industrial tribunal compensation and pay-offs.

The victim of the bullying may also receives coaching. Often there is a history of being a victim. It is worthwhile reviewing their part in the process; do they have behaviours that encourages others to take advantage of them. Being an institutionalised victim is a common as being a serial bully. Every bully needs to have a victim.